Marriage

Stories relating to our own marriage, as well as other themes and topics having to do with marriage as seen from a Catholic worldview in society. Natalie and I were married in St. Louis, MO, in October 2010. You can see more about our engagement and wedding on our wedding website, <a href="http://geerlingguyandgirl.com/">geerlingguyandgirl.com</a>.

Routines and Marriage - Keeping it Together

My wife and I have crossed the one-year threshold; after achieving this milestone, she told me, "Once we get past a year, we're set for life, right?"

Jeff and Natalie - Christmas 2011
Christmas 2011: I'm trying to look normal, I think. Didn't work.

While it's not true that strengthening the marriage bond gets easier over time (it's always a challenge—but in the best possible way!), it is true that seemingly-insignificant things (like doing the dishes, emptying the trash, and saying daily prayers) we do in our marriage help a lot.

Our faith, for instance, needs constant attention and care. We have already had periods in our married life where we've fallen short of our committment to pray the Rosary daily, or to attend daily Mass more often. We continually struggle to make faith a priority in our relationship. But we push through, and keep on getting back into good habits of prayer—together as often as possible.

Keeping up with chores is another area where routine is important, but often done haphazardly. We have a wonderful chore spreadsheet, and we often go on 'cleaning rampages' where we complete a bunch of chores in a day (well, that's more me than my wife... she usually does her chores regularly), but we also skip chores some weeks due to a busy schedule. We're not living in a dump, and nothing is unsanitary, but things tend to go downhill quickly once you let the routines slip away too far.

Routines may sound boring, but they are important for a strong relationship.

Giving a kiss or hug and saying 'goodbye' every time we depart each other's company helps us remember that we are always looking forward to seeing each other again soon. Going to Sunday morning Mass together, even when one of us is really tired, or would like to sleep in, reminds us that we need to approach our relationship with God hand-in-hand. Watching a movie or reading together on a regular basis lets us learn to relax together (of course, too much media consumption can be harmful!).

These routines firm up the foundation of our married relationship. Some of the routines will change over time—especially when children enter the family—but many will be a stable bedrock of our marriage for the rest of our lives. If we let them slip away, we risk losing an important part of our love for one another. The covenant we entered more than a year ago is important enough that we are both vigilant about the 'routine' of loving each other.

Two from the Review - Sunday Obligation + Marriage in a Church

This week's St. Louis Review has a few excellent articles that I thought I should share here for the benefit of those reading this blog who may not be from St. Louis.

First is a column from Archbishop Carlson, in which he stresses the importance, and individual responsibility, of the Sunday Obligation. He definitely doesn't sugarcoat things—we need more of this from our leaders!

There is simply no excuse for missing Mass on the Lord's Day. If through your own fault you miss Mass on Sunday, you are committing a serious sin. You should not receive holy Communion until you have gone to confession. (Continued...).

Next up is a 'Dear Father' response from Fr. John Mayo, a friend of mine, concerning the need to celebrate Wedding ceremonies inside physical Church buildings (rather than having 'destination weddings' on beaches, or at otherwise secular locations):

One of the sacraments of the Church is marriage. This sacrament is initiated by a wedding ceremony. Since this ceremony is an act of sacred worship, it properly takes place in a church or chapel.

Why is the joining of two people in marriage an act of sacred worship? First, by Christ's ministry, we know that He intended to restore marriage to its original state: a lifelong commitment of life and love between a man and a woman. He not only restored it, He raised it to the dignity of a sacrament (Matthew. 19:3-12). (Continued...).

Speaking of marriage, this week the Review also had it's yearly 'Christian Marriage' supplement, which is full of great advice for those considering/planning a marriage, and for those who want to be inspired by the oldest married couple in Missouri, or a 'team' of Mizzou fans. More from the Review »

Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey – and Family

Nick Cannon - I'm a Daddy!Now here's a music star (and TV show host) I can sympathize with:

"The greatest gift on earth is a child" ...

<Reporter:> Would you like to a dad? <Nick:> "I mean, yeah, that's the purpose of union and gettin' married, to have a family. We'd love to expand!"

(Source).

Nick is also known for his pro-life rap video Can I Live (definitely worth a watch, if you haven't seen it before). This guy gets it—he's a well-known rap singer, host of America's Got Talent, and is married to Mariah Carey, one of the most popular singers in the U.S. today.

While their marriage is assuredly not perfect (nobody's is...), they already dealt with a miscarriage, and are now expecting their first child (likely not to be their last!).

So... why can Hollywood stars 'get it' with regard to marriage and family, and half or more of Catholics can't?

Chai-ed the Knot - Making 500 servings of Chai Tea Mix for Wedding Favors

Often, someone comes up with a brilliant idea, and later, upon realizing how much work the idea will take to come to fruition, the person gives up on the idea. However, when the idea is good enough, one might sacrifice quite a bit to make the idea reality.

Such was the case when, about six months ago, my then-fiancée and I decided we loved Chai Tea Latte. In fact, we became somewhat addicted to the substance. It didn't help that my sister and her husband encouraged the addiction :)

Chai Tea Latté
Stock photo... didn't have time to snap a shot of my own, as I happily drank it immediately!

After being introduced to some great-tasting homemade chai mix in Christmas 2009, Natalie and I decided we wanted to make enough chai mix to give two servings' worth to each guest at our wedding reception. Little did we know how much time and effort it would take to make this wedding favor.

Not only did we want the mix for each guest; we also wanted to put the mix into 'cute' little baby food jars with cloth-covered lids and custom labels. Cue step 1 - gathering supplies! Click through to continue reading...

1 - Gathering the Supplies

Chai Tea Mix Recipe - Ingredients

Our journey originally started at Sam's (a warehouse discount store)... we figured, since we needed insane quantities of almost every ingredient, we could buy it in bulk at Sam's. Unfortunately, only a few of the ingredients (the cinnamon and one of the spices) could be had at Sam's. Bulk discounts were out of the picture :(

Marching on, we went to Wal-Mart, and after about an hour in the grocery section, found many of the other ingredients; we depleted Wal-Mart's stock of huge dried milk boxes (2% for more flavor!), Unsweetened Nestea jars, and cardamon spice. We wrapped up our shopping trip later in the week with a trip to Target, where we found a large quantity of powdered vanilla coffee creamer, and more Nestea. We topped off our supplies with one trip to the local Shop n' Save, and were ready to mix!

2 - Mixing the Mix

Mixing dry milk and other ingredients for Chai Tea Latté

After we gathered a troop of mixing helpers, and every huge mixing bowl we could find, we started the long and hard-but-great-smelling process of mixing together many gallons of Chai Tea Latté dry mix. My sister (in black above) put together and hand-stirred the ingredients. I poured them into the food processor, ran it, then dumped the mix into a large bowl, and my (now-wife) put 6 tbsp. into each baby bottle.

At the end of the mixing process, the entire kitchen was covered in a 1/10" layer of chai, and there was a wonderful smell (though sometimes overpowering) throughout the condo. Sneezes also left a bit of a brown tinge, due to the aerosol-ized Chai! I think there might still be a little in my lungs!

I won't post the entire recipe here, but you can look elsewhere on this site for the recipe: Go ahead and make your own chai tea latté mix using our recipe. You won't regret it!

3 - Filling and Capping the Bottles

This was probably the part of the process I disliked most; to fill the bottles, you had to stick a little scoop into the mix and dump it into a baby bottle—about a million times. The mixture has a tendency to get slightly sticky in large quantities (most likely due to the dry milk), and you simply feel a little grimy at the end.

Then, there's the bottle-capping. For sterility, we had washed everything twice, and we decided to put plastic wrap over each bottle top before putting the lids on. This proved to be the bottleneck in our process, as it took a great deal of time to do this properly.

Uncapped Chai Tea Latté Baby Bottles
These bottles are saying "cap me, I dare you!"

But, in the end, we got all 258 bottles wrapped, capped and sealed, ready for a finishing touch!

4 - Designing the Labels

Natalie and I wanted these favors to look like the 'real deal,' and we also decided we'd use them to promote our wedding website, as well as our new mailing address. Plus, I love designing things ;-)

So, after a few revisions, we decided on the following label:

Chai-ed the Knot - Chai Tea Latté Baby Bottle Labels

The biggest problem I had was finding a company to print these things cut-to-size on good label paper. Many companies required a huge premium for custom-cut sizes like this (7.5" x 1.15"), and I wasn't about to hand-cut over 250 labels from a larger paper size!

We finally found a great company in 48HourPrint.com; they helped me through the whole process, and just needed me to add a bleed to the image. They had the prints shipped within 48 hours, and they looked great!

5 - Finishing Touches

Sisters and Mom Holding Chai Bottles
Can you tell they were getting tired at this point?

My Mom, my two sisters, my (now) wife and I spent the next couple hours eating Psghetti's food and relaxing putting brown cloth squares on top, secured with a rubber band, tying a red ribbon around the rubber band, and counting the bottles. Finally, my (now) wife and I secured the baby bottle labels with some double-sided tape a few days later when the labels were shipped.

Conclusion

So... was it worth it? YES! The baby bottles are awesome, and I wish I could make more—the smell of the sweet chai mix lingered in my condo's kitchen for a few days, and I felt invigorated breathing in the vaporized caffeine and sugar ;-)

Chai Tea Baby Bottle Wedding Favors - Pyramid

The guests loved the favors, and they were very practical—the bottles served as an advertisement for our new mailing address and wedding website, and were also the seating placards. Not to mention, they contained two servings of the sweetest and most addictive tea known to mankind!

CCW Episode 4 - Marriage and Celibacy

Well, I'm back from my honeymoon, and so I finally have some time to finish up this episode, which I recorded the day after I was married in St. Louis, MO.

In this episode, I look at the relationship of the Catholic Sacrament of Marriage and how it relates to the call to Celibacy that is requested of those who are called to the vocation of Holy Orders in our Church. I have a good idea of what both vocations/sacraments require of a man due to the fact that I was in the Seminary studying the call to celibacy for five years before getting married, so I thought I'd share a few observations.

Married... Time-Lapse Video of Our Wedding

Below is a time-lapse video of my wedding, generously recorded/posted by my Aunt (I didn't even know she did it!). I will hopefully have some pictures to post to Facebook sooner or later, and will also be posting a few of those previously-promised posts about our wedding preparations to this site, and to my and my wife's wedding website.

Here's the video (the techno beat adds something... I just don't know what ;-):

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