advice

Just some tips from an occasional Craigslister:

For everyone:

• Cash only. Don't do checks, PayPal, etc. Even if it's > $1,000.
• Meet in a well-lit, public place. Starbucks is great. Target parking lot is fine. Nice gas stations are okay. Small restaurant parking lots are out, as are shady gas stations.
  • Aside: Additionally, if the other party doesn't show, you at least have something to do if you're at a place like Starbucks or Target. If you're at a gas station, you'll have wasted your time.
• Make sure you can contact each other. Either email if everyone has smartphones, or trade mobile numbers. One party is often caught in traffic and is late.
• Haggling is okay. If you list something that sells for $50-80 for $80, and the offer is $50, either accept that or settle in the middle. Don't always buy things for the listed price.

For buyers:

• Don't low-ball. Haggling is fine, but offering $20 for an item priced at $60 is not.
• Don't send emails that say "is this item still for sale?" Instead, say, "I'd like to buy your item... I have a question about it..."
• Stick to your agreed-upon price. Some sellers try to scam you out of an extra few bucks at the meet, but stand your ground on the price (this is why emails are better than calls—you have evidence of the price).

For sellers:

• Allow people to contact you via email, and reply. Many CL'ers are introverts, and they'll ignore posts that require a phone call.
• Don't feel obligated to respond to every email. Since your email address is anonomous, spammers will sometimes email you, then when they get your response, you're in their spam list. Only respond to legitimate-sounding requests.
• Charge the agreed-upon price. Don't show up to a meet and ask the seller for a higher price than you agreed on already. That's just dirty.
• Conversely, don't accept less than what you agreed on (don't sell your item short!). Many times, buyers will say "Oh, I only have $250, not $300 like we agreed on... will you still sell the item?" NO!

The general rule of thumb is to be courteous, responsive, and cheerful. Life's too short to waste it on dud Craigslist transactions!

My wife and I have crossed the one-year threshold; after achieving this milestone, she told me, "Once we get past a year, we're set for life, right?"

Christmas 2011: I'm trying to look normal, I think. Didn't work.

While it's not true that strengthening the marriage bond gets easier over time (it's always a challenge—but in the best possible way!), it is true that seemingly-insignificant things (like doing the dishes, emptying the trash, and saying daily prayers) we do in our marriage help a lot.

Our faith, for instance, needs constant attention and care. We have already had periods in our married life where we've fallen short of our committment to pray the Rosary daily, or to attend daily Mass more often. We continually struggle to make faith a priority in our relationship. But we push through, and keep on getting back into good habits of prayer—together as often as possible.

Keeping up with chores is another area where routine is important, but often done haphazardly. We have a wonderful chore spreadsheet, and we often go on 'cleaning rampages' where we complete a bunch of chores in a day (well, that's more me than my wife... she usually does her chores regularly), but we also skip chores some weeks due to a busy schedule. We're not living in a dump, and nothing is unsanitary, but things tend to go downhill quickly once you let the routines slip away too far.

Routines may sound boring, but they are important for a strong relationship.

Giving a kiss or hug and saying 'goodbye' every time we depart each other's company helps us remember that we are always looking forward to seeing each other again soon. Going to Sunday morning Mass together, even when one of us is really tired, or would like to sleep in, reminds us that we need to approach our relationship with God hand-in-hand. Watching a movie or reading together on a regular basis lets us learn to relax together (of course, too much media consumption can be harmful!).

These routines firm up the foundation of our married relationship. Some of the routines will change over time—especially when children enter the family—but many will be a stable bedrock of our marriage for the rest of our lives. If we let them slip away, we risk losing an important part of our love for one another. The covenant we entered more than a year ago is important enough that we are both vigilant about the 'routine' of loving each other.

Spagna - the Spanish Steps, at sunset.

Rome, Italy is a truly beautiful city, and a very worthy destination for people of all ages. After having spent four days in Rome, and a couple weeks outside of Rome, I've learned a few things that would, in my mind, be helpful tips for anyone else following in my footsteps:

1. Wear tennis shoes or comfortable shoes. You have to walk—a lot—if you really want to see and enjoy Rome. The metropolitana (Rome's subway lines) only covers the northern parts of the city, and a few ancient ruins.
2. Get a good map of the city; there is an illustrated map that you can find at almost any hotel/touristy area which shows pictures of all the major sights, and has every street marked. Even a GPS won't do so well in certain parts of Rome.
3. Bring a light camera, unless you're a stock photographer. With all the walking, you won't want to lug around a huge digital SLR and a bunch of glass if you don't have to. The memories are what counts - there are thousands of beautiful pictures of every sight in Rome - no need to take more of those pictures! A smaller, lighter camera affords more mobility, meaning you see more places.
4. Don't get caught in one or two ruins—i.e. don't tour the Colosseum or the Forum unless you really, really really want to. It's better to walk to another destination than to get caught in a four hour tour of a place in which you're not that interested.
5. Try the gelato. Seriously. Every chance you get, stop in a gelato shop. There are some especially good ones near the Via Merulana and across the Tiber from Castel Sant' Angelo.
6. If someone approaches telling you they have a special tour, or cool bracelets, or anything, ignore them. Don't even look at them. If you let them hook you in, you'll have to work to break yourself free from their sales pitches. (Also, don't look too 'touristy' if you can avoid it, at least not in the 'touristy' areas where street vendors are hanging around like vultures).
7. Don't get your picture taken with a gladiator or a mummy or any of the 'interesting' people around tourist sites. You'll be asked to pay up afterwards, usually to the tune of €5 or more!
8. Always pack an umbrella (get a little purse umbrella if need be) - rain is very random in Italy, and it can come at a moment's notice. If there are no clouds in the sky, don't carry the umbrella with you, but have one just in case. You can always buy one for €2-5 from a shop on the streets.
9. If you can figure them out, use the buses - they are very convenient if you need to get somewhere fast, or if your feet are worn out.
10. Try to speak a little Italian, even if you don't know much! Usually, even Italians who don't "parle" English will get the idea. The most important words:
    1. Parli inglese? --> "Do you speak English?"
    2. Ciao. --> "Hello."
    3. Grazie! --> "Thanks!"
    4. Prego. --> "Thanks," "You're welcome," and pretty much anything.
    5. Buongiorno/Buonasera/Bunanotte --> "Good morning/evening/night!"
11. Places you must visit: The Colosseum (at least look at it), St. Peter's Square, St. Peter's Basilica, the Vatican Museums, Piazza Navona, Via del Corso (walk along the fancy shopping street and end at the Spanish Steps / Spagna), Trevi Fountain (just to see it), St. Paul Outside the Walls (if time allows), Termini (it's like the Italian Penn Station), every Gelateria you see, the Pantheon.
12. Places you could visit if you have time: All the awesome columns and Egyptian obelisks around the city (you could play a game and see who can find them first), the four Major Basilicas (St. Paul Outside the Walls, St. Mary Major, St. John Lateran, and St. Peter's), any other Church in the city, the Forum, the Circus Maximus (you can walk around it and act like you're Ben Hur ;-), Castel Sant' Angelo, Catacombs, the Scavi Tour (exclusive tour of the catacombs under St. Peter's - sign up early!), the Scala Sancta ('Sacred Stairs'), the Trastevere (Piazza di Santa Maria especially).
13. When eating, be sure to not ask for ketchup, burgers, salad dressing (they only use vinegar), or candy bars. You're in Roma! Enjoy the fish, the pasta, and the pizza... and most especially, the gelato! Crepes are also a nice way to finish off a meal. Ask for water senza gas (meaning without bubbles) or naturale—unless you'd like to try the gassy water ;-)

Any more tips? Leave 'em in the comments, please.