Going Green: The Cause of the Economic Downturn
Inspired by this excellent report of why Twitter is the cause of the recent economic downturn, I thought I'd run some numbers and see what other correlations I could find to turn into causations. (Correlation always implies causation... right?). Anyways, since people are visual, I thought I'd make a beautiful, easy-to-read chart of the root of the problem.
Figure 1: Companies Going Green vs. the Economic Downturn
Statistics never lie. Never. And these statistics are bulletproof!*
Building Our Case
Well, after doing a survey of all the people in my room, I found that many of their companies were going green—they were replacing old, power-sucking computers with new, energy-efficient ones, they were turning off lights in rooms they weren't using, and they were even thinking of changing their logo's colors to a greenish hue.
So I went a little broader and put together some statistics from vigorous Internet research. I found out that more companies have been "going green" than in the past, and I found out that the markets have been on a downward trend. I plotted the results of my findings, and the above graph resulted. Obviously, the data shows a strong correlation between the amount of companies that are going green and the economic downturn.
This had me quite puzzled... I can't understand why companies going green caused the economic downturn. Is it because 'greening' things up means higher costs, and therefore less surplus? Is it because people spent so much time changing lightbulbs and replacing CRTs with LCDs and organic LED displays that they didn't have time to work?
I decided to dig a little deeper, and do another survey of everyone in my room:
Figure 2: My Age vs. the Economic Downturn
Wow! I had no idea! My natural aging process caused the economic crisis! Now I'm a bit wiser. Apparently, I'll need to find a way to reverse my age if I want to get the economy back in shape. Maybe the government will provide a nice stimulus package to me so I can find a good reverse-aging technique. Isn't there some sort of cream I can rub in my face for that? Maybe some kind of surgery?
Why Linkbait Works
By nature, people are stupid. It takes a lot of work to make someone not-stupid. And even then, the stupidity remains underneath a veneer of wisdom. If you go about your life understanding this basic principle, you will be able to (1) look really smart in comparison to stupid people, and (2) make a lot of money... or at least be able to get your 15 minutes of fame on Digg, Twitter, etc.
In case you were wondering, the charts above were fabricated. If you thought they were real, I'm amazed you have a long enough attention span to be reading this page.
Because people are stupid, they'll sit at their computers all day and Digg stories about Twitter causing economic downturns, sleeping dogs running into walls, Macs being better than PCs (and vice-versa), and many more pointless and/or irrelevant stories.
Because of the nature of the Internet and it's primary users, facts are rarely checked, stories are almost always glossed over for interesting tidbits, while the important details are left alone, and people that post "linkbait" titles like "New Apple Gizmo Beats Windows 7" get their 15 minutes of fame. EVERY time.
Fixing this Mess
What can you do to fix the mess that is social-powered link voting (Digg, StumbleUpon, Facebook, Twitter, etc. have all fallen pray, imo)? You can STOP digging or voting up a link simply based on its title. You can read the story, and, if it really impacted you and made you think about things in a new way, then and only then can you help promote the story.
I will be doing my part. I vote to not be stupid. What about you—what are you doing to put an end to online stupidity and linkbait-rewarding?
*Notes: The statistics are bulletproof... if your computer monitor (or whatever device you're looking at this page on) is. Try it. Shoot a bullet at the stats above and see if they get shattered. Chances are, they won't. But don't blame me if your computer doesn't have the same functionality afterwards. Life is a Prayer.com is not responsible for any damage caused to your computer if you shoot it!
